Something Inside That Was Always Denied
by Unedited Creativity
Summary: A 3 part exploration of love and music. Derek x Angie Note that this isn't really a song story due to the only lyrics appearing are used as actual dialog. Part I: Norwegian Wood - Beatles, Part II: God Only Knows - Beach Boys, and Part III: Amazing Grace
1. Part I: Norwegian Wood

**Something Inside That Was Always Denied**

**Part I: Norwegian Wood**

_Notes: Well, my first true Trauma Center fan fiction. I've been playing Second Opinion these last few days and find myself with a brand new OTP in Derek and Angie. This story is a half-sad story and filled to the brim with inspiration from The Beatles. This is the first installment in a three part inspiration series. I promise you this will be finished long before even my beloved story Better Judgment. So please enjoy!_

It was ten at night when Derek found himself in Angie's studio flat. It was of somewhat hippie décor. Furniture was sparse. A small twin size bed, a rug, beads serving as the bathroom door, a short Japanese style table, and a small fridge to store the little food she ate. This was hardly what Derek had expected from the home of his rigid nurse. He sat on the rug before nervously lifting the glass of wine she had poured him. For all his nervous feelings he could never ignore her unusual serene beauty. She wore a simple white dress and her lovely blond locks cascaded over her exposed shoulders. She looked something of an ancient earth or fertility goddess.

"Derek..." her voice was sweet and simple, lacking its usual chastising sharpness. "do you... like my place?" He nodded readily to her question, still a bit nervous. He wasn't sure if she had the same ideas in mind but to Derek when a beautiful woman, particularly one you love, takes you back to her apartment at night it means sex. As much as he liked to pretend otherwise Derek had natural male inclinations. Dirty thoughts of his lovely nurse had spanned his mind before, even when he had just seen her. His eyes had immediately taken notice of her full bosom, gorgeous green eyes, supple bum, and luxurious blond hair. For a man who had an unsatisfied sexual appetite these things would be hard to ignore. He almost felt perverse as he assumed she hardly noticed his objectifying of her at all. Perhaps she had assumed it on some level but was never fully conscious of it. Did this make him normal or depraved? He didn't know and almost didn't want to know.

"Sorry if this sounds stupid, Ang, but why live in such a small place?" She smiled at his awkward and innocent inquiry. She gently patted her hand on the bed, offering to have him sit with her before she answered. He sat beside her, not allowing himself to touch her before she touched him.

"I don't need any more than this. I'm practical, you know. A single girl on her own only needs a single room and a bathroom." More odd conversation followed until the flow of red wine loosened them both up. Two in the morning found them laying entwined on her bed fully dressed and Angie half-asleep. Her next words would send Derek into a mode of confusion mixed with equal parts excitement and fear. "I think it's time for bed..."

Derek looked at her. He wondered what that meant. Making love sleep or true sleep? He checked tentatively by kissing her, tongue roughly pressing into her mouth. She didn't resist but barely responded either. She wanted true sleep and, from her sitting up, she signaled that she wanted him out of her bed. Derek rolled slovenly off her duvet and crawled off to sleep in the bath. He was too drunk to drive home and too much the gentleman to force the issue of where he would sleep. She brought him some pillows and a simple throw blanket but the coldness of the porcelain was a constant reminder of unconsummated love. Right before she was able to drift off to sleep, which she needed as she had work in the morning, he came out.

"I love you." Her eye slowly opened and peaked at him. "Do you love me, Angie?" Lazily she sat up and stared him tired yet surprised.

"Yes, Derek... I... I'm in love but I'm lazy." She shook her head before attempting to correct herself. "I mean to say... there is no one who compares with you but... it's so hard loving you." He sat upon her bed and gently kissed her. He understood what she meant even if no one else in the world would. They held hands a moment before he returned to the bath, their grip upon one another lingering as long as it could. She lay her head on the pillow again, making it moist with her tears.

The next morning he awoke alone. She had locked the door behind her but he could still leave. He sat in front of her empty wood stove, shivering at the winter cold that seeped through the cracks. He took some wood from the stack and began a fire. His mind was stuck on Angie but she was else where. He sighed and glanced at the stack.

"Isn't it good, Norwegian wood?"

**Fin**

_End Notes: Is this story sad or romantic? I really can't say myself. I think it's up to interpretation. Part of me thinks that the issues they face are very surmountable. I think ultimately that while the tone sounds sad it is in fact a story of only the beginning. I think later their love would truly blossom and happiness would be had between them. Maybe I'm just optimistic. Who knows? Chapter two will be under the influence of God Only Knows by The Beach Boys. That song is easily the most beautiful song I have ever heard, bar none. I have yet to choose chapter three's influence. I think I might do Amazing Grace for the final installment or maybe Gloria in Excelsis Deo. Something that is full, beautiful, and classic._


	2. Part II: God Only Knows

**Something Inside That Was Always Denied**

**Part II: God Only Knows**

_Notes: Chapter two is here! Huzzah! This chapter is based on the song God Only Knows by The Beach Boys. If you haven't heard it go on YouTube right now and look it up. I believe the album it is on is called Pet Sounds. Still, you won't regret listening to it._

The sun dazzled through the trees as Derek walked. The woods were a comforting place to him. They removed him from the struggles of life in Angeles Bay... the struggles of being a doctor and responsible for so much. The air was clean, the sky glowing with the setting sun.. it was like medicine for his soul. This place of peace was the last place he thought he'd see his lovely assistant. She was like something out of a Leonardo Da Vinci painting sitting upon a rock in a white sun dress crying, the setting sun framing her like true divinity. He stood there in silence for a while, simply admiring the sight of it.

"Angie..." The simple sound of her name made her head pop up. He stepped forward so that she could see him better. She quickly began cleaning up the streaks of tears and mascara on her face. She felt so self-conscious in this sad condition. Certainly he had seen her in emotional states before but nothing like this. Without another word he got on his knees in front of her rock and gently wiped her tears away with his thumb. He didn't know really what he was doing. All he knew was that the girl he loved was in pain.

"D-Derek, I... I'm so sorry!" With that she clung to him and sobbed, leaving the poor physician deeply confused. "What I did that night it-" He stopped her by placing his thumb on her lips and shaking his head. She didn't need to apologize for what happened that night at her flat. She had done nothing wrong. Slowly he removed his thumb and leaned in to kiss her. It was a far more kind and gentle of a kiss than the one he had given her on the bed, lacking the lust and alcohol driven sloth. She responded with full return, arms wrapping firmly about his neck. Her tears began again and as he felt a single warm drop pass his cheek he pulled back.

"Why are you still crying...?" He put his arms about her waist to give her a sense of security.

"I-I..." She paused for a moment, quivering as she figured out what to say. "If you should ever leave me, though life would still go on, believe me... the world would show nothing to me. So what good would living do me?" Her words confounded him, he only prodded her to continue with a light nudge of his nose against hers.

"I'm so... dependent on you, Derek... I need you. I realized that after you fell ill with GUILT..." She bit her lip. This is what made loving him so hard. She relied on him so much. She had once been so proud and independent. She never needed anyone to help her or be with her but now... she needed him and it was hard to accept that fact. He pressed her closer, finally understanding it all completely. He knew she had acted a bit differently after his operation though he could never fully put his finger on it. She had finally realized something he understood after their first procedure together: they needed each other.

"Angie, it's... it's almost funny you say that because I have always felt that I relied on you entirely too much." He started to laugh as the thought amused him so much. They were completely dependent on each other. "For fuck's sake, Ang! I mean, God only knows what I'd be without you!" He let her go, falling back on to the grass as he was so caught up with amusement and happiness. Angie soon followed as his laughter struck a cord in her heart. Was it so bad to rely on your significant other? She didn't need to be strong and independent all of the time. Her giggles soon came bubbling forth as well. She felt so happy and light, as if a huge weight was taken off her shoulders by this lackadaisical surgeon... this man she was so entirely dependent on... and who depended so thoroughly on her.

She slid off the rock and into his arms, lying on top of him. It was dark now but neither seemed to even think about it. Love wasn't hard any more. Love was light, silly, comforting, and something to rely on. The beat of his heart, the movement of his breathing, and the touch of his skin were no longer signs of losing herself. They were now the greatest comforts in her world. With a bit of humor and a lot of love she sat up straddling him and spoke gently.

"God only knows what I'd be without you, Derek..."

**Fin**

_Notes: Aaaaaawe, let the sunshine in! Less sad then Chapitre Un, eh? I'm feeling excited and inspired. Chapter 3 should come fairly soon. All depends on how long I'm sick for. The longer the better for writing as being in bed all day is conducive to writing fan fiction! And thanks so much to TCGeek. I'm a fan of your writing so keep it up! Well see y'all later!_


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